0650: “Don’t forget to swipe in. Don’t forget to swipe in. Don’t forget to swipe in.”

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0800: *Gowns up and enters isolation room to clean up incontinent patient* “Please, no one call me.” *phone rings immediately*

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1030: “I bet working in outpatient would be nice.”

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1130: “Wait, did I swipe in?”

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1300: “I should probably go on break now while I have the chance…” *call bell goes off* “Okay, maybe later.”

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1500: “I haven’t had anything to drink or peed all day. That can’t be good… I should probably check my patient’s I&Os, though.”

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1600: “Okay, time for a nice 4 PM lunch.”

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1730: “Someone please turn off that call bell.”

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1800: “Only one more hour, I can do this.”

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1930: “No one got hurt, no one died, and I didn’t get any bodily fluids on me– I’ll chalk that up to a success. Time to go home and eat dinner in bed while I watch Friends on Netflix.”

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